Man-Flu: The Silent Killer...of Manly Men!

Yes, as you may have guessed by the title, I have the sniffles.

To be more precise, I have a sore throat and a clogged up nose.

Man Flu!

It was probably the real reason Custer fell. Not the Native Americans, but a bad bout of Man Flu.

I do feel horrible, though. I seem to have gone from being in pain from poke-stabbey-slashy to now being reduced to a puddle of phlegm thanks to this.

Almapaprika, as could be expected, is showing the same maternal insticts of a mother praying mantis (lunch?).

But I do love her so...(she copes admirably with my manly whyning...what more can I ask for?)

This grey, cold, and rainy morning on my walk to work I was greeted by that most picturesque of images that depict this town:

A dunken hobo crossing the street towards me whilst nonchallantly throwing up.

Yes, you just don't get this sort of stuff back home (we got the occasional crackhead who attempted to stop traffic whilst stark naked and in the middle of whigging out.).

I felt immediately nauseous as the milky, chunky liquid spewed forth from his bearded facade (he must be a HARD HOBO! The type that outdrinks elves!)

As I sit here at home, waiting for the handyman to come take a look at our washer/drier (never the two should meet, in my opinion. One uses water, the other doesn't. Simple as that.), I shall update a few photos of the hydroponics chilli. Mind you, said handyman was supposed to arrive at 1:30pm, and it is now 3:15pm, but the landlord assures me he shall be here before 4:00pm.

Anywho, here's a couple of pics of the Little Elf (finally got the blasted name right) seedling:






The Second photo is interesting. All the Rocket died (as can be seen on the other photos. But I have since cleaned the mess), so this little fella could only be the Culantro, which I am crossing my fingers it is.

I have also added today two more seeds to the hydroponics kit:

1 Cayenne Ring of Fire
1 Belpicen

I put the Cayenne Ring of Fire because it's a very fast grower, and the pods are nice and hot. The Belpicen I put just to see what happens. That would make it three plants (possibly) in the hydroponics, since the stem cutting of the Orange Habanero kicked the bucket.

Que le Den Candela!

I feel so horrible right now...

:-(

Curse me for thinking my body is still a decade younger than what it really is! (although a decade ago I was actually in worse physical shape, so...)

My quadriceps feel like the muscles themselves are constantly being rubbed with Naga Morich juice while being mercilessly struck by the paddles of drunken frat bro's in some sadistic initiation ritual. My back feels like a very fragile and cheap piece of porcelain being balanced on a pinhead.

We've got kiddies visiting the workplace, and every time I have to de-power the gates to let them through (an act which requires me crouching down to reach the master power switch) or to let them out puts me in a world of pain. It's a fantastic and completely pointless visit on the part of the kiddies, many of whom have libraries on their own schools with similar resources.

But then again, PR is PR, I guess (unless the Prime Minister unleashes 'The Forces from Hell' on you. Here I thought the smell of sulphur was caused by sewage. How wrong I was to think so naively...)

Asides from that throbbing pain my abs received a workout at the pokey-stabbey-slashy practice the likes of which they had not received in a year, so every time I sneeze or my stomach does anything, I feel amazingly unwell.

Add a headache, and you have what my darling Almpapaprika would call:

Absolute Rubbish.

I was amazingly fortunate to have been raised in a household with a physician, which meant every time I got ill, or felt ill, if there wasn't blood pouring out of my eyes, or at least one major internal organ protruding from a previously non-existent bodily orifice I was fine.

And now I've chosen as a partner another person of the medical profession.

With the exact same outlook regarding my health.

:-/

I almost forgot to mention (what with the usual daily diatribe):

THE HEATING AT WORK IS NOW WORKING!

Hazzah! They have finally done one right! (having just committed this to print, there will probably some catastrophic failure of another aspect of the building tomorrow morning).

As soon as I found out I rushed home and got some more seedlings to bring over, in an effort to get things back on track. I moved:

1x Aji Umba Red
1x Trinidad Scorpion
2x Ring of Fire Cayenne
1x Thai Dragon

I've got a few more to move about in the next few days. Now the windowsills at the office will provide a good 10 hours of light minimum (plus the lights from the office), as well as a constant temperature (from both solar radiation and the radiators a few inches from the pots), which should get this party started.

I have lost one Habanero Mustard (legginess + tumbling = broken stem), and the Almapaprika seedling and another Ring of Fire seem to be suffering from burns (through what is burning them I have no idea).

Oooh!, I nearly also forgot! Both Strawberry Guavas have germinated! It took them about 30 days, and it has been painfully slow, but they are both out! :-)

I wish I was in bed...

Everyone should have Facial Hair

And by that I mean all men. Facial hair gives us a sort of paradoxical 'sophisticated manly-ness' that the clean shaven bloke just doesn't have.

It exudes a kind of self-confidence perhaps only seen in Lord of the Rings. I mean, for all the acrobatics of Legolass, he is nothing more than a poncy, pointy-eared gymnast (all male gymnasts should have thick, Kenny Rogers or Michael McDonald beards). We all know the bare-knuckle-butt-kickers are Aragorn (stubble), Boromir (hard stubble), Faramir (whimpy stubble, and look where that lands him), Eomer (beard), Saruman (beard).

All the Orcs, Goblins, and Uruks are clean shaven...clear sign of 'soon to be defeated' syndrome.

I went pokey-stabbey-slashy last night for the first time in nearly a year. As was to be expected, the Bulgarian coach decided to do his usual 'East European' training regime, which is both fun and exceedingly tiring (more so if you've done no physical activity in months). As could have been expected, in my profligate exuberance I decided to go head-first and full-out into the training.

I could barely walk back home. It was a very painful 20 minute walk. I sweated the whole night as my body writhed in pain.

I still feel as though someone grabbed a pair of blunt surgical instruments and, without the use of anaesthesia, decided to tighten every muscle and ligament from my pelvis down.

But I did win 5 out of 6 bouts for the evening, including a whitewash on someone whom I thought was going to paste me, so this old, average dog still has a few tricks up his sleeve.

I am growing more and more depressed as the growing season moves on and I see more and more photos on thehotpepper.com forum. I'm dealing with the leggiest seedlings this side of a Paris fashion show all because of lack of light, and I really can't afford at this time to buy lots of lights for the plants.

I may have devised a plan to take care of this using my improvised greenhouses, some Christmas/fairy lights, and kitchen foil.

But we shall have to wait and see.

In the meantime, Aji Chombo Sad!

:-(

Aji Chombo in deep physical pain caused by his own stupidity...

...but he did get that whitewash (worth...every...moment...of...pain)

Blast it's cold here!

It is ridiculously cold at work right now.

And this is WITH all the new fangled radiators, red light district looking element heaters, garden heaters and heat curtains installed.

Not to mention change the settings to the automatic doors so that now at least once a day, a 'patron' slams head first into them because they simply don't open.

Had they done what has been suggested a million (and by virtue of it being put here, a million and ONE) times and just changed the entrance to a rotating door, this might not be an issue winter in/winter out.

It might even keep in the RESIDUAL HEAT and warm the rest of the building deprived of heating thanks to yet another radiator 'malfunction'.

Sigh...

I should look at the bright side, though.

I will never be accused of sweating too much at work.

No sir!

I just left the desk for two seconds, and a co-worker has just got to my computer to clock in...AAAAARGH! Worse part is I was in the middle of using it (no, not for blogging. I was dealing with a patron. These entries take me easily hours to make) to deal with a particular case, which absolutely cheeses me off. It's not the use of my PC that bothers me, it's the crass and disrespectful manner in which some co-workers simply take common manners for granted.

I don't walk up to their computers WITHOUT their approval to clock in, yet my station PC is used like the town trollop! I don't mind when people ask, specially if there's not much going on in my station, but there is a flippin' communal clock in screen ten feet away!

How many duck-pooping seconds does it take you to walk over and clock in there?!

Heck, I use that screen about as often as I use my PC, simply because it is more convenient and because I tend not to BE an inconvenience by using it.

Grumble...

I was going to make the intro short and without outbursts...

So much for that idea.

Now I'll be grumpy for the afternoon.

I brought some seedlings to work today, in the vain hopes that I might be able to trade light for heat with them. I will put photos of their 'self contained enclosures' (Plastic soda bottles) for show.

I moved the following:

1x Barrackpore 7-pod
1x Madame Jeannette
1x Trinidad Scorpion
1x Mustard Habanero
1x Aji Limo Rojo (no link to this one, unfortunately, as thechileman.org doesn't have much data on the chinense var.)

I am really hoping the extra light (not necessarily sunshine, just extra light) will make up for the heat deficiencies.

Temperatures are supposed to stay at between 0C and 5C for the next 5 days.

Joy.

But wait!

What is this?

Repairmen looking at the heating!

(Cautiously optimistic now...very, VERY cautiously optimistic).

Cerveza, Pokey-Stabbey, and Ajies

This entry might test my abilities to write in Spanglish, a much maligned language (considered not a language at all by some) utilized by many second, third and fourth generation Hispanic Americans in the US.

I do consider it a bit of an aberration, since you should be able to comunicate your ideas and thoughts clearly and succinctly in one single coherent language.

Pero el Spanglish, el cual en realidad deberia ser llamado 'Espanglish' si vamos a hacer la cosas de la manera debida, es la clase de fenomeno que me fascina (y al cual blogspot no le puede corregir la ortografia ni la gramatica. Quizas en un futuro cercano la gente de Google, Microsoft y Apple crearan programas en 'Espanglish').

Typically, Espanglish would be much more mish-mash than this, since I could start a sentence in Spanish, halfway through it add some words in English, and revert to Spanish before finishing, or vice-versa.


All making perfect gramatical sense, if you can imagine.

En fin, es mejor que hable un poco de cosas mas interesantes, ya que se que la mayoria de las personas leyendo este blog ya han perdido interes.

El fin de semana empezo de manera...interesante. Almapaprika y yo (y un grupo de amigos) fuimos a un 'Festival de la Cerveza', en la cripta de una de las catedrales locales. Yo encontre el concepto un poco...hypocrita no es la palabra debida...

...ironico, quizas.

Alli estabamos un grupo de personas, dentro de una catedral Cristiana en Europa probando y tomando mas de 100 variedades de cervezas, cidras y vinos, ademas de comidas artesanales tipicas del Reino Unido (pasteles, empanadas o 'pasties', etc.)...

...en el primer Viernes de Quaresma.

Go figure.

But all in all, the evening was quite an enjoyable one. We drank some beer in the form of Ales, Stouts and Bitters (Almapaprika was just coming of a week working nights, so she could only get through three half-pint glasses), we drank some Perry (a delicious one called 'Two trees'. Laughable Fellow, I won't try to spell it in it's native Welsh, just so I don't end up insulting grannies. For those of you who do not know, Perry is a fermented pear drink similar to, but not, Cider), and drank some Cherry wine. Plus we scored some extra glasses (you are given one half pint glass with your admission ticket) of the 30th anniversary of said Beer Festival.

The following morning I went to see some friends attend a 'pokey-stabbey-slashy' competition. Those of you who know me will know what I'm talking about. For those of you not indoctrinated in this discipline, I shall elucidate:

Pokey-Stabbey-Slashy is a sport that involves three distinct weapons:

1-The Pokey-Pokey: The more 'artistic' of the three weapons (used mostly by people referred to by the other two weapons specialists as 'namby-pamby', though I have seem quite a few individuals in this weapon I would never call that for fear of having my spleen removed).

2-The Pokey-Stabbey: The more 'realistic' of the three weapons (people who specialize in 'Pokey-Stabbey' are often labelled 'Slow', because we like to use our brains...go figure).

3-The Pokey-Stabey-Slashy: The more 'Pain-causing' of the three. Usually practiced by people who like to listen to death metal (no, not Finnish people, although some of them do practice this weapon).

I was a decent Pokey-Pokey and Pokey-Stabbey...er. I could do PSS, but generally only if in an emergency situation (always got my rear end handed to me).

It was nice to see people I hadn't seen in a while, although it was a bit of torture for me, as I looked at all the people poking and stabbing and slashing saying 'I can do that (and the more brazen 'I can beat him...he's not so tough.').

One of my friends even won a bronze in Pokey-Stabbey!

She is particularly deadly at keeping her arm extended and poking and stabbing the wrists of her opponents with her Pokey-Stabbey stick.

Los ajies me mantuvieron un poco preocupados el fin de semana. Debo admitir que el que en mejor estado esta es el Elf Chilli, el cual esta en el sistema hidroponico (por lo menos asi creo que se dice en Español), y el cual recibe unas buenas 6 horas diarias de luz gracias a la lampara que le puesto directamente arriba. La semilla fue plantada una semana mas tarde que el resto de los ajies, pero se ve mas grande, verde, mas vigorosa y esta empezando a mostrar el segundo set de hojas (las hojas verdaderas), cosa que ninguno de los otros ajies esta demostrando. Definitivamente es un punto a favor del sistema hidroponico, aunque todas las plantitas de rúcula (o arúgula) plantadas en el mismo sistema ya se han muerto, lo que no me llena de optimismo. Aun asi, el hecho de que por lo menos hay una planta todavia viva y saludable en el sistema hidroponico es algo para celebrar.

Los ajies en la oficina van bien. El Datil aparenta estar acostumbrandose a su nuevo hogar, con nuevas hojas empezando a salir. El tronco principal del Naga Morich esta empezando a mostrar señales de brotes vegetativos nuevos, lo cual es fantastico ya que solamante tenia una pequeña rama con un par de hojas. El resto estan en el mismo estado de antes, lo cual me mantiene preocupado, pero en fin. Todavia no las he podado como habia prometido. Una de las plantitas de Saril murio (la que tenia el brote de hongos), pero la otra se ve saludable. Dos de los maizes Morados han muerto tambien, sin duda a causa de las bajas temperaturas de la ultima semana (nevo el Domingo nuevamente).

See, writing in Espanglish is not that diffucult.

:-)

If only understanding it was just as easy...

A Book arrived in the post today...

I just got a copy in the post today of 'The Complete Chile Pepper Book' by Dave DeWitt and Paul Bosland.


It is not as academic as Jean Andrews 'Peppers: The Domesticated Capsicums', (which I think is a fantastic book, mind you) but it is a book I had been waiting for a while to get. It is also more complete than Mark Charles Miller, John Harrisson 'The great Chile Book', which was until now the only Chilli book I owned.


I will probably sit and read it over the weekend and give allow it to sink in before I talk about it, but from glancing through it on Google Scholar, and from just giving it a quick read a few minutes ago, I think it is a fairly complete book on capsicums.


I gave all the plants at work a quick watering with a half dose of Chilli Focus today, to start bringing the nutrients back into their diets. Some of the forum members have advised not to over-rely on nutrients, since it leeches the soils, but these are potted plants, so not much choice, unfortunately.


The Naga Morich at work is starting to sprout growth along the previously bare main stem, so I am seriously considering (someone just hit the sliding glass doors in our entrance head on...I should mention they slide open with the same speed and impetus of a professional mime miming 'a solid wall') chopping the top growth from it and using it for cuttings so as to trim it back to a manageable two feet height and seeing if I can get broader growth this year.

The Rocoto Rojo is also showing promise, albeit as a single, two foot stick with lots of new green growth coming out of it.

The Chocolate Habanero, Orange Habanero and Caribbean Red Habanero are showing less signs of vigorous growth. It may be a case of pruning for them and hoping for the best.

Crazy students have just spilled hot tea all over one of the radiators in front of me...and they wonder why they are not allowed into this building with hot drinks...

...at least they didn't spill it all over themselves (though that would provide me with a modicum of amusement.

Almapaprika dreamt of Mrs. Cole again last night. And once more she was helping out at the wedding.

I say it's all fine and dandy so long as she doesn't wear that awful outfit that made her look like an extra from a Street Fighter video game (Mrs. Bison).

The entrance door of the building is now refusing to open to people who want to leave or enter, unless they meet some unknown height/weight/body mass requirement.

I wonder sometimes what the (INFORMATION RESTRICTED) millions of pounds that went into the construction of this building ACTUALLY went into, what with the heating problems, the malfunctioning entrance doors, the malfunctioning lifts, useless lights, etc.

But at least it looks nice and shiny from the outside, and that's all that matters, really. (Ghost of cynicism past floats past me)

Almapaprika has infected me with her 'celebrity' dreams.

Or in my case: nightmares.

I dreamt last night I got into an argumentative spat with Wayne Rooney.

I was hoping for Cheryl Cole, to be honest (with a translator next to me).

But no.

I get the floppy eared 'White Pele.'

And not in a good mood (Is he ever in a good mood? then again, neither was I).

At least I saved Almapaprika from dreaming about him...

I hope.

Mobile (Cell) phones...they enhance an idiots' natural idiocy.

I have just embarked on an interesting venture, and created a Facebook page for Aji Chombo!

Yeah, it does stink of self-promotion...

Maybe I should hold a press conference as well...

Nah, I'm sure Tiger Woods would upstage me if I did.

And yes, people (not just idiots) seem to unlock some sub-conscious 'Extra Idiot' gene when they use cell (mobile) phones. Since I work more or less in a customer service 'orientation', you get to do a lot of people watching, and it is surprising how many people swear they can multitask who clearly should not be allowed to operate a PAIR of chopsticks.

Mobile phones turn the average person into an 'Idiotic Neophyte', and a full blown idiot into a 'Grand Wizard Moron'.

Mind you, these phones are a nice and convenient thing to have...

...but I get the feeling that if everyone that was born after 1990 was suddenly and simultaneously hit by a car and sent into a coma (yes, a Life on Mars reference. Good. You can count yourself NOT in the two categories above) back into the 1980's, they would die of starvation for lack of finding a phone with a 'Find a curry house' application.

But I digress...

Almapaprika has been having pre-nuptial nightmares.

Again.

They have been happening for the past few months, in anticipation of having to say 'I do' to a union with me in front of a crowd of family and friends. (I'm not that ugly...am I?)

Last nights (well, days. She's working nights this week) had her at the wedding, sans wedding dress, while the rest of the women there HAD wedding dresses (thankfully, neither me or the rest of the gentlemen present had said wedding attire on), and with our DJ gone leaving her mom to handle everything from her MP3 player.

In the midst of all this, who emerges to console her?

Not her two best friends.

Not me (I was probably writing a blog entry in her dreams at the time)

But Cheryl Cole.

Yes. You read correctly.

Cheryl 'The Geordie girl who went on to be a pop superstar and married Ca$hley' Cole.

She apparently did fairly well in consoling her, and Almapaprika also did commendably in understanding Mrs. Cole's Geordie accent.

Almapaprika even went on to give Cheryl some sound advise ('You should look for better', when referring to Mr. Cole).

So, Cheryl, if you happen to browse through this blog (I really wouldn't know why, but hey, stranger things have happened), feel free to drop by the wedding reception.

But bring an MP3 player (but not JUST with your songs).

On the front this blog was created for (chillies, which seems to be a neglected part of today's entry), I now find myself drinking copious amounts of soda in order to use the bottles as makeshift greenhouses (thank the El Cheapo challenge for that)

The Rocket keeps dying in the hydroponics kit. The little Elf Chilli seems completely unaffected and actually quite healthy, as does a little cutting of the Orange Habanero I put last week. I wonder why?

I have also experimented with putting an Aji Lemon Drop seed on some decaf tea 'grinds' to see if they can also be used to germinate seeds (Decaf you say?). Put the seed in Tuesday, so fingers crossed. We go through tonnes of the stuff at home, so if it works, I might have found a cheap germinating medium.